Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
