I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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