I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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