I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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