I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
