i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't deserve a penis
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
