Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
