Just fell off a train. Bad.
My balls are so social today.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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