Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My life is pants optional.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
