Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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