census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
