girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize