The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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