I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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