Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
