i just wanna soil my oats bro
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
OPIZZABONMYDICK
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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