I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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