i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
