and you said cock pushups were impossible
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
