So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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