I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
