There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
