Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
