I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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