Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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