Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
