it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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