First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
