So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
