Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
