Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
