You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
