You're my little dorito
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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