The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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