He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
