If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
