just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize