i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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