Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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