i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
