took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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