but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
