Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
