from now on my penis is your penis
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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