She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
