He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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