last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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