I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
