Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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