You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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