the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
