So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
this boner is exhausting
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
