You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
