From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
