wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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