Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
