So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize