Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
