Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
