Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize