Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
