Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
