for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
