He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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