Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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