Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
