so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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