Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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