I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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