I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
