You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
