I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize