the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
