i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize