Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
