why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
