I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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